I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
