you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
