dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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