Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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