Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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