Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
