She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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