I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Randomize
