he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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