I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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