You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
