are you still at the devil's house?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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