found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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