ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you didnt know i had herpes?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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