I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
