hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
