Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
