a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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