You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
