Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
