Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
