I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
