420 ftw
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
