farters have to be the big spoon...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
