Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
