do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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