I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
did i just pee glitter
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
