with your own penis?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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