ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize