North Korea, Best Korea!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
