His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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