he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
