Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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