The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
