Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Let's paint friendship bongs
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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