i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
