Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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