the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
A bitchslap is in order.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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