Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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