he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Every concussion has its silver lining
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
