I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
