Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
