all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize