Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
