those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Randomize
