careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
