I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
