I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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