the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
