i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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