He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
