I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
