She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
