Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
