Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
