im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
