i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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