dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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