even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
