All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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