Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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