I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
the day after is always just damage control
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
