I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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