This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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