I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize