how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
