Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
