Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My penis needs a shock collar
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
