Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
