covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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