it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize