saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
